The Blink of an Eye

I don't know about you, but when I was first heard my doctor verbalize the dreaded "C" word, I thought my life was over and he obviously concurred. It goes to show that no one can know what God has planned for us, for here I am almost ten years later, still very much alive. My diagnosis has transformed me and God continues to use this illness as a tool to further His work in me. I am eternally grateful.

After being told my condition was terminal, my first prayer was for Jesus to wake me from this terrible nightmare. When I came to the frightening revelation that I was not dreaming, then the my second petition was to touch the hem of His garment so that I will be healed. You see, I know God, and with all my heart I know, that He has the power to heal me in the blink of an eye.

I have to admit I still spend a lot of time wondering why God won't just hurry up and blink, but blinking would be far too easy. If He had blinked there would be so many incredible lessons I might never have learned, and experiences I never would have had.

So when I start to feel the weight of this illness I just I hold fast to Proverbs 3:18 ~

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, always let him lead you and He will clear the road for you to follow."

And I remember that faith is to be absolutely convinced of the reliablilty of God, without any knowledge of where the journey will take us.

So, at the end of each day that I live with cancer, my hope is that even if God did not blink yet, He winked and is well pleased!

It Is What It Is; Learn to Love It.

I will never forget the first day that I was told by an indigenous healer I had to find a way to love my cancer. I thought he was off his rocker, not to mention he was asking the impossible. How can you love something that you know will kill you? What I eventually learned is that it might kill you a lot sooner if you don't. Shortly after receiving and dismissing his advise, I was lead to an important book, Learning To Love My Cancer: A Survivor's Extraordinary Story by Kay Bevan . It reaffirmed the impossible request the healer had repeatedly made of me, and ultimately helped me remove that stumbling block from my path. At the time the advice seemed very foolish and yet it was not until I caved in and tried to figure what on earth I could love about this dreaded disease, that I had finally begun to live with it instead of waiting to die from it.